Trapped in a Tree (Transcript)

A transcript of Season 28, Trapped in a Tree.

Transcript
Kwazii (Narrating): Trapped in a Tree.

All: BEES!!!!!

(A swarm of bees is chasing Disney’s Most Dangerous Villains.)

Romeo: I told you we didn’t have to make a pit stop, but did you listen? No! you just have to grab a tree full of honey!

Capatin Drake: Hey! I was getting hungry, and the least you could do is jus run faster!

(Bees are buzzing angrily which makes the trio scream.)

Negaduck: Wait a minute. I’ve got myself a brilliant idea. (runs way faster than the bees, which pause and see a fire hose)

Captain Drake: On.

Negaduck: Why—

Romeo: Hello.

Captain Drake: And goodbye! (turns the hose on and wipes out the bees into a pond) Quick, flush it! (Romeo flushes a toilet to send the bees al the way into the sewers) Next time you go drain pipe surfing, better bring surfboards! (to his team) Well, at least that was a close call and that we’ll never be seeing them again. Haven’t you guys noticed that while we were frequently chased, we were never hurt? True. Sometimes we cut in close, but we never actually get the pain, and why? Because we were charmed in a lucky way.

Negaduck: But our luck can’t last forever, Master Drake.

Romeo: Negsy has a point. Eventually, we’re gonna die and we’ll never see each other again.

Captain Drake: And just what do you think will happen that those flying needles are just gonna fly back here, slightky stalk and sting us with a great big fist of pain?

(The bees return with surfboards.)

All: BEES!!!!!!!

Captain Drake: And now they’ve brought surfboards. Everything I say is a giveaway! (the trio keeps running from the swarm and scream) Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, nice insects...! (screams) Guys, if you like my face, you better pick up the pace!

Negaduck: We’re going as fast as we can!

Romeo: Not the face! Not the face! Anywhere else but the face!

(The trio continues screaming and running.)

Captain Drake: Uh, excuse me? I need an update navigation. Captain to Negsy, Captain to Negsy! Come in, Negsy! We’ve got unfriendly stingers baring one five nine-o, so I suggest you process ASAP to the nearest zipper tree over there.

Negaduck: Negsy to Captain, Negsy to Captain. Affirmative, Captain. Looks like there’s one in our sights, but we ain’t gonna fit. FELLAS, THE HOLE’S TOO THIN!!!!!!!

Romeo: Genius to partners, genius to partners. I think you two are breakinh up, but in case anyone could still read me, I think the hole’s too thin.

(The trio jump through the hole, zip it up, amd pant.)

Negaduck: Phew. Are we still in one piece? Body? Hair? Head? Shoulders? Knees? Toes? Beak?

Both (screaming): We’ve lost our beaks!

(The two cry and realize they don’t have beaks.)

Romeo: Hey, wait a minute! Humans don’t have beaks. Phew.

Captain Drake: Okay. I think we’re all safe. Me, you, and you with the crate full of honey.

Negaduck: B-B-But what if they’re still out there?

Romeo: Frankly, I can’t see much of anything out here. Boy, Night sure falls fast during this neck of the forest. Plus, I don’t remember it being this dark. Um...then again I don’t remember it being covered with pointy and sharp stuff either, so if I had to hazard myself correctly... (the bees nearly sting Romeo who pops his head out) They’re still out there!

Negaduck (breathing heavily and faster): We’re gonna die. Those rascals got us in the tree.

Captain Drake: That’s it. They've got us surrounded in the tree. So, if we go up the tree, we can jump on about thirty bajillion others, amd by the time we’ve gone by branch to branch, the old stack of toothpicks will be just a swarm of memories. All we gotta do is think like a tree and leave.

(The trio runs all the way up to the top of the stairs.)

All: Huh?

(All the trees are cut down as the bees laugh at them holding chainsaws.)

Romeo: Okay. Looks like your brilliant plan has been cut short.

Negaduck: Oh my gosh! They’ve chopped down all the trees and now we’re gonna be nailed through like boardwalks!

Romeo: Oh, how are we gonna get out of this mess?

Captain Drake: Gee, I guess I’m all stumped. Anyways, it’s all simple. I’ll just think of another plan. (Ten plans later...) We’re gonna assemble a subterranean armored vehicle capable of drilling beneath the Earch’s crust, thereby transporting us away from the pollen hunters.

Both: Uh-Uh-Uh.

Captain Drake: We’ll laugh a three-staged all-portable space pod to travel through the Earth’s atmosphere, then touch down on a spot predetermined to be safe from all bees.

Both: Nah.

Captain Drake: Call a tree surgeon.

Both: Nah.

Captain Drake: Pretend we’re invisible.

Both: Nope.

Captain Drake: Go to Funkytown. (Negaduck and Romeo shake their heads as music plays) Big Jelleton.

Both: Nuh-uh.

Captain Drake: Song songs.

Both: Nope.

Captain Drake: SCREAM!

Both: Nah.

Captain Drake (weeping): Cry.

Both: Nope.

Captain Drake (belching): Belch.

Both: Uh-Uh. (burp)

Captain Drake: Well then, I guess there is only one thing for us to do, then.

Negaduck: Really?

Romeo: Oh, boy! I wonder what it is.

Captain Drake: RUN!!!!!!! (the trio starts running out but are blocked by the swarm and scream) RUN AGAIN!!!!! (They run back to the tree and heavily pant) Wait a minute, you fool! You led us right back where we started.

Negaduck: But-but we’re gonna die.

Captain Drake: Well, now what ere we supposed to do?

Romeo: Give their honey back?

Captain Drake: Pfft, nah. That’s a stupid idea. I suggest we wait them out.

Negaduck: But they’ve hit us stuck in a zipper tree.

Romeo: And aren’t we gonna starve?

Captain Drake: Hungry? Oh, we are gonna get hungry alright, starving perhaps, and hallucinating that we want to eat each other! Unless, we keep our minds busy. (January to February?) Do you have any fours?

Negaduck: Go fish.

Romeo: You have any elevens?

Negaduck: Here you go.

Romeo: Ha, fool! I win!

(Drake and Negaduck pull up blasters and Romeo screams. March to April?)

Captain Drake: 999,985, 999,986... Come on, guys! These push ups aren’t gonna waste themselves, you know!

Negaduck: Yes, Master Drake. (groans with Romeo)

Captain Drake: 999,987, 999,988, 999,989, 999,990...

(May to June?)

Romeo: Hehold! I give you my excellent Vacuum Hero Sweeper 9,000! With its ultimate suckage, those no do-gooders won’t stand a chance against us... (Drake and Negaduck snore and Romeo groans) Well, if you can’t beat them, join them.

(Romeo snores with his friends. July to August?)

Captain Drake: Boy the weather sure is bad on TV, right?

Negaduck: Yeah.

Romeo: Uh-huh. Let’s watch something else. (changes the weather channel) Oh my gosh, I love this channel!

Captain Drake: Me too!

Negaduck: Boy, I wish I brought some popcorn.

Romeo: You Kidding? We’re fine!

(September to October?

Negaduck: So you see, that’s why they call it a blowtorch.

Romeo: Wow! You don't say, and it stil gets so hastily evil.

(Drake enters the hot tub.)

Captain Drake (sighing slowly): So what are we talking about?

(November to December?)

Negaduck: Okay, the tree-made heater is ready. (turns on the heater)

Romeo: Well, it’s about time. My toes are frozen.

All (sigh slowly): Yeah. Huh? (for the heater is melting their skins and blood bessels.)

Captain Drake: How high did you set the heater on?!

Negaduck: You know, I was busy making the heater that must’ve put it on high mode only!

Romeo: Half brain!

(The next year to the next year?

Negaduck: I wonder if those stinging fears are still out there?

Romeo: I don’t know?

Captain Drake: Me neither, but what I do know is that I was thinking of something.

Both: Eh? What’s that, Drake?

Captain Drake: I was thinking of having those apples in your mouths.

Negaduck: Apples?

Romeo: What apples?

Captain Drake: The ones that I’m going to have for dessert.

Negaduck: Dessert?

Romeo: But there’s nothing for dinner.

Captain Drake (chuckling): There is now!

(Drake tries to chew Romeo’s hand.)

Negaduck: Drake, stop acting like that! We’re pals, remember?

Romeo (smacks Drake’s face a few times): Now pull yourself together.

Captain Drake: Huh? What? Who? Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just taking a little joke.

Negaduck: Oh, sure. Along with a couple of steaks.

Romeo: Uh, heh heh. Let me guess: a T-bone?

Captain Drake: Are you sure? Because I was thinking of a T-bone.

Negaduck: Oh, no. It’s actually Drake the steak and Romeo the T-Bone.

(Negaduck almost bites Romeo.)

Captain Drake: Negaduck, snap out of it!

Romeo: Now just calm down and relax.

Negadici: What, who, huh? Oh, sorry. Must’ve been something in my head.

Romeo: Oh, don’t worry, pal. Everything’s going to be just fine. Speaking of which, I could go for some sandwiches.

Captain Drake: Wow. Good rhyme, buddy.

Negaduck: Oh, nothing really. Just a couple of huge, crunchy, chewy, juicy, and yummy hoagies!

(Romeo tries to eat Drake.)

Captain Drake: Wait a second! Fellas, look what’s become of us. It has been a couple of long years and we’re not only bored, we’re hallucinating that we want to eat each other. I guess we all know what this means.

Negaduck: That our luck has finally run out?

Romeo: And that we’re going to be stuck here forever?

Captain Drake: No. it means we’re gonna die! (cries) Face it, buddies. I guess it’s time that we should stop running and face the Circle of Life. We’ve started as friends and now we’re gonna die as friends. (cries with his friends) Good insects of honey making, we have finally decided to give up and go to our death as grown men.

Negaduck: Because we know you’re gonna hurt us, but it won’t be a total loss for us.

Romeo: And bravely, we want to suffer you and your honey powers.

Bee #1: Well, it’s about time you got out of there.

Captain Drake: Uh, we’re waiting!

Bee #2: Waiting for what?

Negaduck: To get killed.

Romeo: Because we stole your honey.

Bee #3: Oh, that honey is not actually quite ours.

Captain Drake: What?

Nehaduck: What?

Romeo: What?

Queen Bee: It’s actually for the hospital patients. I’m very sorry we didn’t tell you that before.

Captain Drake: Are you Kidding? That was the scariest but most grateful day I’ve ever had! So, how can we make it up to you for our mistake.

(All bees are whispering to each other and...)

Queen Bee: We were thinking of making it up to you by splits calling that a truce, so what do you day? Truce?

Captain Drake: Truce.

(Drake and the Queen Bee shake hands with each other and start hugging.)

Kwazii: Well, I’ll be.

Captain Jake: I’m not sure if we should tell them or just let them keep hugging.

Kion: Well, at least they’ve learned not to steal from bees.

(Kion laughs with his friends, ending the episode.)

The End